Those were probably the most concrete images you included as well, and the most poetic. You have some nice alliteration going on in different places when I point it out: "s-unshine every morning, s-prinkling light on the s-pider webs," "s-cars and s-cabs, s-andcastles and s-tarfish," "b-achelor’s b-uttons colored pink b-lue and white." I think I would move the "blue" to right after "colored" to get the alliteration more organized in that line. I am interested in seeing you describe that hammock in detail. What color is it? What kind of trees or posts are holding it up? Is it faded by the sun after two or three months? Is it a woven hemp style hammock? Does it have a brass ring at either end where you hang it up, and can you see anything through either one? Do you have to chase your pet dog or cat out of it? If you build sandcastles, what other details from the ocean do you want to pull in? Does the tide keep teasing you, threatening to pull your creation out to sea? Do the starfish come in different colors? Is there one larger than your hand or your parent’s hand? Does wet seaweed try to wrap itself around your ankles like wet floss? You know, things like that. So even if summer is full of fun and unforgettable experiences, do you truly feel 100% positive to be moving on or do you take a final look backwards to get the last golden burn of a sunset recorded in your mind?
Have a super day, and I send you a virtual gummy bear.
References :
B.A. in English with creative writing emphasis