Please answer. Im not sure what to do about this.?

February 5th, 2010 | by admin |

My family isnt poor but we are lower middle class. My husband teaches at a comunity colledge and i dont work because i have 4 children, two have severe special needs. We live in a semi-wealthy area and my 2 children who dont have special needs go to a private school but we can only afford it because my husband teaches a class there so we get a discount and the school was kind enough to give us and additional 40% tuition break so we only pay 10% of the regular tuition. My two daughters that go to school are in 5th and 9th grade. My 5th grade daughter is "obese" according to doctors but she has a good personality. My 9th grade daughter is very shy and socially akward. There is a camp in the summer that several hundred youth groups go to in Panama City called Bigstuf. I got help from the church to afford to send my 9th grade daughter to it. When she got home, she said she liked it but signup started last week for this summer and I told my daughter i was going to sign her up to go to it and she begged me not to. After a little prodding, I got her to tell me why. She said all the other kids were rich, snobby, stuck-up, and just plain mean. I was shocked because it took a lot of saving to get enough money to send her to that camp and me and my husband had to give up a few things we wanted to do because we thought it would be an opportunity for her to get away from all that because thats what she faces at school. She said all the girls in the room she stayed in were private school cheerleaders and she tried to make friends with them but all they wanted to do was tan and meet boys. At Bigstuf, everyone in your room is in your youthgroup which I am now thankful for. She said the group time was kind of fun because there were adults around but during the several hours of free time each day where you can go swimming in the pool or ocean or play on the beach etc. was terrible because the chaprones werent around for most of that time. She said all the kids there wore name brands like Abercrombie and Hollister etc. and most of them had those Apple cell phones but they all had cell phones and ipods and videogames and laptops to use on the bus ride there. She said she didnt go swimming once because she knew she would get make fun of because she in not tan and she has a modest swimsuit. Im not sure what to do but im very mad about this. We were saving up for a family vacation but we spent it on this. I want to go talk to the youth minister and the paster about this. Should I? What else should I do about this? Me and my husband are thinking about leaving this church. And why do middle and high school kids need cell phones? I dont even own one and my husband uses a pre paid phone.
Its a huge camp that has 7 1 week sessions with several thousand kids at each sesson. Its a shame that noone out of 2000 kids would befriend her.

I had the same problem growing up, i did go to a church that had allot of wealthy family’s and when i was in High School they all made fun of me because my parents didn’t buy me a car.
Honestly i would get a refund of the money for the camp & take a family vacation. If you talk to someone at the church there isn’t much they can do butt possibly give you a refund, butt explain to them why. It’s sad these days people label you on what you have and what you look like, not whats inside of you. There is one suggestion if the people who run the camp or school would assign group assignments or something where 2-3 girls would work together and then they would get to know each other and possibly make friends and teach them that it isn’t what you have it’s who’s inside. Possibly ban electronics from camp. That’s what they did when i went to camp. The only thing we could bring was clothes and Medicine if needed. About kids having name brand clothing, there is ways to buy it pretty cheap i.e. Clarence or sale items like Aeropostale they have sales all the time and if you sign up for there web site you get coupons or more selection on sale or Clarence items & they have plus sizes too. I hope this helps you, if you need more just email me. Good Luck.

  1. 5 Responses to “Please answer. Im not sure what to do about this.?”

  2. By The Man on Feb 5, 2010 | Reply

    Life sucks doesn’t it? I feel sorry for you and I can’t help but I’m sure you can figure this out. Make a formal complaint to the camp as well.
    References :

  3. By Bakersdozen13 on Feb 5, 2010 | Reply

    Some Advice: Just ideas

    Homeschooling: sounds like a really good option for your you older daughter. She doesn’t really need the high school experience and she obviously doesn’t want it. You are a very busy mom too so if she is very responsible kid and you guys have internet access schooling over the internet is another option. I know of kids who do this if their parents are too busy. But overall I wouldn’t blame the church for this and at your time of need leaving God wouldn’t help your situation at all. This the time where you need to be closest to him. The trip thing wasn’t probably a good idea with the expenses of it and if you go to camps in your area you can find way more friendly people. All girl camps, now that might be a good idea and ones with out a lake if your daughter feels uncomfortable. Also an idea maybe to listen to Dr. Laura look her up and maybe even call her up if you work up the courage. She has a radio station hopefully she broadcasts in your area.
    References :

  4. By Kevin[In Afghan] on Feb 6, 2010 | Reply

    Sounds like it was more just away for the parents to get rid of the rich kids for the summer. It is up to your daughter to be able to make friends who are real. All she really needs is one or 2 good friends. I am sure they are out there.
    References :

  5. By Orange County, Ca on Feb 6, 2010 | Reply

    I had the same problem growing up, i did go to a church that had allot of wealthy family’s and when i was in High School they all made fun of me because my parents didn’t buy me a car.
    Honestly i would get a refund of the money for the camp & take a family vacation. If you talk to someone at the church there isn’t much they can do butt possibly give you a refund, butt explain to them why. It’s sad these days people label you on what you have and what you look like, not whats inside of you. There is one suggestion if the people who run the camp or school would assign group assignments or something where 2-3 girls would work together and then they would get to know each other and possibly make friends and teach them that it isn’t what you have it’s who’s inside. Possibly ban electronics from camp. That’s what they did when i went to camp. The only thing we could bring was clothes and Medicine if needed. About kids having name brand clothing, there is ways to buy it pretty cheap i.e. Clarence or sale items like Aeropostale they have sales all the time and if you sign up for there web site you get coupons or more selection on sale or Clarence items & they have plus sizes too. I hope this helps you, if you need more just email me. Good Luck.
    References :
    Personal Experience & http://www.ivillage.com – http://www.aeropostale.com

  6. By Heyy on Feb 6, 2010 | Reply

    I can relate to your daughter in this situation almost exactly!I too am in 9th grade at an expensive private school. I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life that have caused me to have a VERY dysfunctional family (to the point where I live with my grandmother since my parents are unable to fully care for me). Anyway, I’m on an academic scholarship program at this school and somehow, most people know about it. I went to a summer camp about 2 summers ago with a group of my "friends." I ended up being miserable because I was and still am overweight, am not rich and therefore don’t have designer clothes, bags, etc. and can’t go and do whatever I want (if i got in trouble even outside school, I would lose my scholarship) and got made fun of. The group of girls I went with all ended up making friends with other girls, tanning in skimpy bikinis, and flirting with guys. None of which I was included in or would have felt comfortable with had I been included (because of my weight and lack of money). I beg you on behalf of your daughter, DON’T go to the camp or pastor, etc to complain without consulting her first. She may like it if you did that, she may feel it will help her, but from personal experience don’t do anything without getting her approval first. I know that may seem wrong since you’re the parent and don’t need your child’s permission for things, but my grandmother made complaints to both the school and the camp and it only made it worse for me. Just talk to her about the possible things you can do to improve the situation. Maybe this isn’t the right school/camp/church for her to go to? Maybe she would be more comfortable somewhere else? Just talk, get her input on what she thinks would be best for her and the rest of your family. Even though she is still young, she could have some valuable input. Talking is the first step to everything.
    References :
    I’m a 9th grader in the same situation as your daughter

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