Getting Married!  Whooooo!!!

I’m hung up on fiance’s ex?

I don’t know if i am going crazy or if this is a normal feeling, i don’t know what to do … I am getting married next month and have been with my fiance for a year and half. The problem is we’ve been arguing alot over his ex and he thinks im so hung up on her.

They were together for 6 years.. Had travelled the world together.. both love the same extreme sports and love outdoor activities. I think she’s too good to be true, but he said that she’s selfish and that his friends were glad when they broke up. But i think he said that just to make me get over and done with it, which obviously has not!

Each day it just gets worse, he said that its been over 2 years before we met but one day i checked his email and saw OLD msgs and i know this might be nothing but he actually asked her to check out some properties in this area which i know both of them had lotsa memories of and thats a year after theyve broken up and 9 months before we met.. He said to her its a "thing to look forward to" … and the fact that they’re both very outdoorish (camping, caravan, surf, snowboard backpack the world UK, canada,.. go on long road trips across the state) and the fact shes really smart (postgrad) really doesnt help me… Im nothing like her.. Ive told my fiance I am a spoiled dads little girl from a big city, i never did any of these stuff, wish i did.. When i see pics of Canada id love to go there but its just haunting me how they backpacked and lived there for couple years. She even took out staple out of his head (injury from snowboarding) (so brave of her!!! I know i couldnt do that coz im afraid of blood!!) .. He said they fight too much but I read from her emails that they loved each other dearly and totally honest with each other but just couldnt be together..

Worst part is im actually moving to his country, a new place, new friends (which are mostly her friends too) .. and he bought his place when they were together and that she lived there for a year before they broke up … He said they’re no longer in contact but i think thats because she works quite far but that she told him (when we’re already planing on getting married) that she couldnt stand her job and she wants to come back to town (theyre from same city, thats where ill be moving!)… Im so scared hes actually denying his feelings towards her and still deeply loves her (bcoz hes never bumped into her since we started going out!) (note that she has now a bf whom she met where shes working ..) … but like i told my fiance, "What if it doesnt work with her n bf and if she moves back to her state??" He just replied that i need counselling!… I even read their msg (thats about 5 months since we started seeing each other).. he never even mentioned he was going out with me (like i dont exist in his life!!) in the msg!! and all the msg from her "my mum still thinks about u, putting sport magz aside for u, hows the house?, how come we never had our pics around the house when we had so many, i cant imagine my life without u" and about asking abt his dog whom ofcourse been with them for that whole years together and all that kinda msg …

He’s trying to bring me to beautiful spots that ofcourse had memories of them camping, etc.. near the beach, the ocean and one place that where he actually met her… I just cant live with that, but he said im just crazy to think of all this… how can i not?? They seem to be a match made in heaven.. im nothing like her… she just sounds perfect.. that i actually thought if i had found out about this before we gotten serious, i wouldve prolly asked him to go back with her…

Help me.. I think i need counselling… I cant see myself living in his country (although id want to if not bcoz of the ex) coz i know sooner or later i would bump into her and it would just hurt me. and yes he still keeps her photos in his IPOD, in his albums, even a beautiful pic of her upclose in black n white (found this when i was cleaning his room to make space for my stuff before i move in) .. she seems like a very nice person too! So there u go, pretty blonde, with brains and a nice lady …

Is it normal to feel like this ?? Maybe im a little stress with the wedding around the corner and also moving and HER …. Im desperate for advice .. Do u think hes over her? What do u think would happen if she comes back to the city?? Even the thought of travelling is making my head in (coz they did the around the world trip!)! Should i say no to all the beautiful ocean front spots, road trips, that theyve had too much memories of?? Although his friends are being really nice to me and his family too (but she was there even longer than i am now!).. I keep crying over this and it goes over my head too much ive started to lose sleep even worse sleep and dream of it… Help me

Thank u so much

Normally I would say get over it, he is with you now. But maybe you should follow your instincts here, especially since you will be moving to such and unknown place. Maybe you should move there before you get married and see how it goes.