Getting Married!  Whooooo!!!

How do you like my story, and what should the chapter name be?

It was October 10, 1942 the War was spreading rapidly. I knew the Japanese did not make the right decision starting a war. I never liked wars, but I loved my country, and I was a man of sacrifice. I believed one person’s death by saving millions, is worth it. I believe that if you are not willing to make a sacrifice, than you are just selfish. My mother is dead, and so is my father. This is because when they bombed, it was the end of their life. From that day on I have wanted to pay them back. Chris, my older brother who lived with his wife and three children, lived in Hawaii too, but was too far to get killed. I lived near him. I lived with my wife, Sarah, and my very young child, who is two, Mia. Sarah is afraid I will die but all I say is, “It is better than having the U.S. fail.”
The next day I got into my uniform. Sarah came in holding Mia. “Juan, why are you doing this?” I looked at her and told her a something just as I did before. “Because I want my country to succeed, not to fail.” She looked as if she were about to die with sadness. Mia, just holding on to Sarah, suddenly pushed herself out of her arms, and went over to me. I looked into her eyes, I saw the glory of the amazing thing I had created, but I had no other choice, I had to go, and I will officially keep my country in happiness, not disaster. I picked up Mia and held her in my arms. It was as if I were holding an angel.

I had to go though; it was a responsibility I had to attend. I walked for the front door as I was taken from the tight hug of Sarah. “Don’t die out there,” she whispered in my ear. Then, I turned around and gave Mia a big hug, but it was time to leave. So I said goodbye to all, and waved, then saluted to Mia, and turned away. I got in the car, and drove. I got to the part of town where I had to stop, and go to the boats.
I ran to the boat I was going to go to, but wait, what is this. I read a news paper I found laying on the ground.
Nazis taken over Jews. Concentration Camps everywhere, thousands dying all because of one man, Hitler!
Hitler! Hitler is killing thousands, millions of Jews. Why didn’t I think of this before? I rushed down the aisle, and ran to the German boat.
I got into a seat, not most comfortable, but bearable. There was a man sitting right next to me. He had a long beard with gray hair. As soon as I got comfortable he started talking. “When I was a kid,” he told me as I listened closely. “A war was just ending. Now there is a new one.” This man made me think. The man started talking again, this time he talked louder. Maybe he thought I was not listening. “Is our country doing things wrong?”

There was also another Man sitting across from me and he started talking after the old man stopped. “What a crazy world we’liv’in. Wouldn’t ya say. With all these wors and all. I’m surprised we even survive.” I just did a slight nod, because I was thinking of something else. Where is Sarah right now? Is she mad at me? Just as I said that I saw someone that looked familiar. Wait, is that John? That is! John is a best friend of mine. We will lots of the time come over to each other’s house and have a barbeque or something, the ladies will talk, and the children will play. John has a child of his own. We would also sometimes play the guitar, even though we are not good at it though.

We’re leaving for Germany in two minutes! Two Minutes, to Germany! I sat back in my small bunk and tried to sit quietly. I got out my book and started reading it, but before I could even get done with the page John came over and wacked me on the head. “Boy am I glad to see you!” I was 30 years old but I still acted childish. We talked for the two minutes until the flight navigator told everyone to get set for the ocean. So John moved his stuff over to his bunk

TWO DAYS LATER

Now we were into sea just enough so that we could barely see land. The ocean to my opinion was the prettiest place to live. In the open water, just to think that we were surrounded my sea animals. I got out my journal and started writing.
The open waters we live in now, just to think, we are not alone. To help the helpless Jews we seek, finding our way to Germany.
I knew I was not the best writer, but I did do it for fun to let the time pass. I got out my book and started reading. I was reading Seven Pillars of Wisdom.
Waiting off Suez was the LAMA, a small converted liner; and in her we left immediately. Such short voyages on warships were delicious interludes for us passengers. On this occasion, however, there was some embarrassment. Our mixed party seemed to disturb the ship’s company in their own element.
I read these sentences and thought that I did a good choice of what I would choose to read. I continued on.
The juniors had turned out of their berths to give us night space, and by day we filled their living rooms with irregular talk. Storrs’ intolerant brain seldom stooped to company. But to-day he was more abrupt than
After it says, I was reading Seven Pillars of Wisdom, there needs to be a paragraph after that because that is what he was reading.
The rest of the story:

The juniors had turned out of their berths to give us night space, and by day we filled their living rooms with irregular talk. Storrs’ intolerant brain seldom stooped to company. But to-day he was more abrupt than usual. He turned twice around the decks, sniffed, ‘No one worth talking to’, and sat down in one of the two comfortable armchairs, to begin a discussion of Debussy with Aziz el Masri (in the other). Aziz, the Arab-Circassian ex-colonel in the Turkish Army, now general in the Sherifian Army, was on his way to discuss with the Emir of Mecca the equipment and standing of the Arab regulars he was forming at Rabegh. A few minutes later they had left Debussy, and were depreciating Wagner: Aziz in fluent German, and Storrs in German, French and Arabic. The ship’s officers fou…
I read on until John jumped in to only read my page out loud. “Waiting off!” he yelled, yet quietly yelled. When he interrupted me I noticed the horrible place I was sitting in.
At the bottom of the five bunks I was sitting at, but there were about five bunks crushed together. John had his guitar on his bunk. There was dust everywhere, so I decided that it would be better to see the outside. I grabbed my notebook outside and started writing.
The ocean waters hit the boat, colors drifting as the sun sets.
Sometimes John could get a little annoying, probably because of how playful and active he was. I enjoyed the cool breeze and the sound of the peaceful waves as calm down. The sunset reflected off the water.
It got dark and I could see the stars in the night sky. I could see Orion’s belt with the three stars, and as I looked at those stars, I wondered if there was someone else out there, in space, getting ready for war, or if every other planet was a peace planet. That would be some planet! There are stars out there too. Then I thought about Mia, how she would yell “STA STA,” when she saw a star. How much I missed her, my family.
I have been out of the country before, without my family just like this time, but for some reason, this was different. I felt sadder than ever before, why was that? Was it because of it being a war this time? Or was this a sign I would die?

HONEST! Note any errors I have. Do not just say it is bad, say why or what I am doing wrong. HONEST!
This is just the first chapter, he is a guy who is going to help the Jews and risks his life to safe them, but he was not real. If he was, he would have safed half of the Jews that died, including Anne Frank.

It’s good, I’d give it 3 out of 5 stars. Emotions are key to a good story.
Describing the scenery would have made it better though,
Maybe "Hitler’s Rage Of Fury.."
or something along those lines,
hope you think mine’s the best answer =]